Suck Up Those Dust Hippos
Suck Up Those Dust HipposBy
The sun was shining. The refrigerator was humming. The kids were stapling each other to the bathroom door. It was a typical, peaceful day around our house. Until I decided to vacuum."Make sure to vacuum under the bed," my wife called out.I stopped to consider this unexpected twist in the plot.
It would require bending down, maybe even crawling on all floors and hauling unrecognizables from the very depths of Mordor. I had planned to just vacuum my usual cool racing stripe down the middle of the hall.I decided not to accept the mission. "I can't.""Why in heavens not?" my wife demanded as she came into the room."We have to protect the ecosystem." "The ecosystem?" my wife asked."A wetland is an essential component of the ecosystem, serving as a repository for pollutants and a safety valve to prevent flooding from nearby rivers.""What on earth does that have to do with vacuuming under the bed?" my wife wanted to know."Just take a look. Under our bed is our household wetland.""Nothing wet there. All I see is dust," my wife remarked with one of those here-we-go-again looks.
"Exactly. Dust as far as the eye can see. Our bed serves a vital role in our household ecosystem by acting as a repository for surplus dust, thereby preventing it from recirculating onto the counters, along the baseboards and into our three-bean casserole."I could tell by the look on my wife's face that she finally understood. I had convinced her that we should not vacuum under the bed. I prepared to magnanimously accept her apology."Just vacuum it up," she said.Oh, no.
Another unexpected twist in the plot. I tried again. "There is nothing under the bed but dust bunnies. You would not want me to suck up cute little bunnies, would you?"Those are not bunnies," she replied."They're not?""No. Bunnies are small and cute.
Those are big and ugly. They are dust hippos," she explained."Dust hippos?""Yes, now suck up the dust hippos," she demanded."They can't be hippos.""Bunnies live in forests and grasslands. Hippos live in rivers and swamps. If that's a swamp, those are hippos," she declared. "Now suck 'em up.""I can't do that.
Hippos are an endangered species.""What makes you say that?" my wife wanted to know."Well, you don't see too many of them going for second helpings at the Golden Dragon Buffet or meandering through the park on their unicycles or hailing a cab outside the train station, do you?"My wife looked at me as if I had just said something strange. "That's because hippos live in Africa.""Oh.""Vacuum up the dust hippos," she added."But that's our swamp the dust hippos are swimming in. What about our ecosystem?""Swamps are wet, forests are dry," she replied."What on earth does that have to do with vacuuming under the bed?" "Just take a look under there. Dry. Dry.
Dry. That's not a wetland," she answered."It's not?""No. It's like a dry forest just before the forest fire," she responded. "The forest fire your vacuum will create."This was another unexpected twist in the plot. "You want me to set fire to the forest of our household ecosystem? That would be devastating.""Occasional forest fires are a vital element in a healthy ecosystem, essential to the regeneration of many species of plants," she recited."Really?""Yes.
It's right there on page 943 of the Household Ecosystem Analogies Management Guide."Reluctantly, I bent down and sent the vacuum on its first sub-bed reconnaissance mission. Sigh. Who could have known that my wife had memorized the entire Household Ecosystem Analogies Management Guide?Still, I wondered what the hippos were doing wading in our little forest..
Barrington Automation, a leading manufacturer of modular automation components, is pleased to announce the release of our new comprehensive 2005 product catalog: The Automation Handbook.
Barrington Automation, a leading manufacturer of modular automation components and accessories, is pleased to announce the release of our new comprehensive 2005 product catalog: The Automation Handbook.Our new catalog is packed full of grippers, linear actuators, table slides, rotary actuators, escapements, new vacuum cups, mounting plates and other accessories.
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For a free copy of our new catalog, The Automation Handbook, please contact your local distributor, call us...
Vacuum > Barrington Automation, a leading manufacturer of modular automation components, is pleased to announce the release of our new comprehensive 2005 product catalog: The Automation Handbook.
The Two Biggest Lies About Abdominal Training
Copyright 2005 MHG Consulting
If you have ever read a fitness magazine...
If you have ever watched TV ads about latest machines that will "magically" reveal your abs...
If you have ever gone to a gym and seen tens of people lying on the floor doing crunches....
Then beware - because chances are you are a victim of the two biggest abdominal training hoaxes!
Hoax # 1
Just doing some midsection exercises can reduce your "love handles".
Fact:
You cannot reduce fat from a certain targeted area of your body just by using exercise alone. The abdominal area is no exception.
So, if you want to get a flat stomach and reveal your abs, losing the fat covering them is the way to go.
The only way to do this is to lose fat proportionately from your entire body by burning more calories than you consume.
How? By doing these two things:
1) Have a healthy...
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Tips on How to Save on Car Insurance – An Easy Way to Weave Through the Car Insurance Maze
(ContentDesk) June 17, 2006 -- Car insurance is one of the costs associated with driving a car. And while it is mandatory to have a minimum level of car insurance cover, there are many extras which insurance companies will argue are crucial for consumers to also have. But the level of cover is ultimately up to the driver and their own personal preferences. If consumers arent educated on all the factors associated with car insurance they could well be paying too much for their policies. A...
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Vacuum > Tips on How to Save on Car Insurance – An Easy Way to Weave Through the Car Insurance Maze
Learn these feng shui love tips and improve your love life
Whether you wish to achieve feng shui love balance or improve your love life through feng shui, here we will detail some of the most important guidelines for you to succeed at it. These feng shui love guidelines must be applied according to each particular situation and wish.The first feng shui love guideline you should follow is to clean up your bedroom. Your bedroom shouldn't be untidy since that would slow down or stuck the energy flow in it. Energy should flow freely and with energy within...
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Off Broadway Shows
Off Broadway shows refer to offbeat and experimental theatrical shows (musicals, stage shows and plays) in theaters, which are not in Broadway theatrical territory. The classification of a theatre as off-Broadway is determined by the contract terms and conditions lay down by the Actors Equity guild. Usually the off-Broadway theater has a capacity of 100 to 400 seats. The production costs of these shows are usually lower than the Broadway shows.
However, they are more expensive than...
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Discount Cruise Vacations
Most people are always looking for discounts, whether at a supermarket, mall or you name it. Wherever it reads discount that's where the crowd heads! So let's take a look at discounted cruises to see if they are worth your while.
Its always good to have an experienced hand guide you when you are looking for a discounted cruise vacation, and to provide us with the necessary information are various sites like Cruisemagic.com, Compare cruise.com and Airfarecruisesavings.com, to name...
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Laptop Computer Extras for the Mobile Traveler
A laptop computer certainly provides you with an unprecedented level of freedom and mobility away from the office. However there are a few extras you might want to bring along on your laptop travels: Extra 1: portable printer If you travel a lot, you never know when you might need to commit one of your digital documents to paper. Sure, you can probably find a Kinko's, or even the business center at your hotel, but the experienced business traveler knows you're much better off when you're not...
Laptop Computer Extras for the Mobile Traveler laptop Vacuum
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Free Legal Funding Dictionary for Lawsuit Cash Advance Industry
(ContentDesk) January 20, 2006 -- To make the growing litigation finance market more transparent, Legalfundingdictionary.com has developed a free legal funding dictionary as a service to the consumer. A plaintiff may access the legal funding dictionary at the following link:http://www.legalfundingdictionary.com/Here are some sample terms from the legal funding dictionary:bodily injury, noun: (1) any damage to a persons physical...
Free Legal Funding Dictionary for Lawsuit Cash Advance Industry
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